Let it be

As humans…I think we often forget that we share a lot of the same/similar experiences. I found this document I started when I was a Sophomore in high school. I think I wrote it just encase someone ever came to me and told me I wouldn’t understand. The last time I added to it was sometime last year. I forgot about it. I intend to keep adding to it but I’m going to go ahead and share it here and only here. Feel free to give input, add to, or ask. I won’t mind. I just think that I might have handled things differently if I had come across this when I was younger. I know it would’ve at least comforted me to know that there was someone out there who understands. Feel free to talk to me about anything. I’m all about being there for people.

I know what it feels like to long for something.
I know what it feels like to feel so set aside from the world.
I know what it feels like to feel completely alone in a world full of people.
I know what it feels like to want to know the answers to the questions that just don’t have answers.
I know what it feels like to want someone so bad it hurts and never stops even to this day.
I know what it feels like when you finally feel like you belong.
I know what it feels like when you realize you were all wrong.
I know what it feels like to hold a little piece of heaven in your arms.
I know what it feels like to want to die every day for two years.
I know what it feels like to blast your music while running down the street as fast as you can to escape.
I know what it feels like to watch someone slowly die month by month, week by week, day by day.
I know what it feels like to have such vivid, horrid dreams that, even after four six years, you still can’t sleep.
I know what it feels like to have someone who would never let you down.
I know what it feels like to watch all your friends slip away.
I know what it feels like to get the opportunity of a life time.
I know what it feels like to watch all you friends destroy their lives day by day.
I know what it feels like to feel my heart pounding due to the feel of the ivory keys beneath my finger tips.
I know what it feels like to look up to someone you admire with all your heart.
I know what it feels like to feel unacquainted love everyday of my life.
I know what it feels like to laugh so hard you’re afraid your gut will explode.
I know what it feels like to fall asleep and wake up to a wet pillow and realizing you never stopped crying.
I know what it feels like when all you have is your smile to get you through the day.
I know what it feels like to have a hardened expression that you somehow can never seem to erase.
I know what it feels like to get chills as you listen to the voices of the instruments late at night.
I know what it feels like to walk in the pouring rain just to get wet.
I know what it feels like to so hard you’re afraid your heart will stop beating.
I know what it feels like to feel as though you’ll never be able to achieve your dream.
I know what it feels like to want more for the people you love than yourself.
I know what it feels like to witness something so heartbreaking that you blame yourself everyday for it.
I know what it feels like when you walk away from the person you love, having to hold back the tears.
I know what it feels like when you know you’re being cheated in life.
I know what it feels like when your dad tells you he only has a dollar left in his bank account.
I know what it feels like to be sexually abused at the age of five.
I know what it feels like when you feel as though you are a lost cause.
I know what it feels like to have a great need to be needed.
I know what it feels like to wonder if you’ll have another day.
I know what it feels like to want a day to never end.
I know what it feels like to be in love.
I know what it feels like to feel infinite.
I know what it feels like to intertwine your fingers with the fingers of the person of your dreams.
I know what it feels like to rip apart your room because you couldn’t contain the anger in your heart any longer.
I know what it feels like to have a secret so heavy that you wonder how your heart can hold it every day.
I know what it feels like to have to lie in order to hold the person you love.
I know what it feels like to feel the pain of torn skin from your fingertips to strum the chilling strings.
I know what it feels like to hold the hand of the person you love during a breathtaking concert.
I know what it feels like to be so scared to love that you literally can’t find it in you to move.
I know what it feels like when all you have is a shirt to bring you comfort.
I know what it feels like when you have to literally hold yourself in order to keep yourself together.
I know what it feels like when you wish you could offer all you wish you could.
I know what it feels like to be absolutely terrified that history will repeat itself.